So, it's not a competition? I'm confused
Are there rules for dating? I mean, is it different for a woman than it is for a man?
I think women do it differently than men do, simply because we are more emotional....well, most are more emotional. I like to think at times I'm mixed with robot (joking). I mean, I did take a Facebook test that told me I was 50/50 man/woman...so who knows. There are double standards when it comes to dating and things that are socially acceptable for a man to do versus a woman.
For example, it is totally okay for a man to see multiple people at once during his dating phase to make the correct selection. Hey, gotta keep the options open. Now, if a woman chooses to do this it is frowned upon. A woman is supposed to sit there and just wait until she is no longer the option?....I think not. How else will you know that someone is worth your time or effort, if they are the one?
Dating, I believe, has phases. There is the meeting of people. Today, people will meet in non-conventional ways. A lot of on-line dating happens. So, there is the initial conversation. There may or may not be an initial meeting. Now this meeting can go one of three ways....good, bad, bleh. If it goes bad, it's easy, never have to see each other again. If it goes good or bleh, there may be more meetings....more getting to know each other. The key thing to note is that a first meeting or first date does not imply exclusivity....does not imply relationship....it only means what you two have said it means. See,men do this well....which makes it easy for them to date and not go through the emotional roller-coaster most women put themselves through. Women, a lot of the time have put themselves in this imaginary relationship. Stop. Don't do it. If you did not say it, outline it, and agree....you're dating, not exclusive.
Now the bleh meetings are probably those where you have set standards and there's questions about compromise. You don't know if this person is really worth your time, but they have any deal-breakers per se. You try them out. This can lead to a continuation phase or you just dismiss them.
The ones that you consider good from the beginning are actually the most difficult. You both have to decide what you want, where things are going, what pace....so many decisions. Most importantly...exclusivity has to be defined between you both...not implied because no matter how good they are, at the end of the day.....you are still dating.
See, women...don't be blinded by how fine they are, their job, the basic things men should do anyway. Pay attention to their character and what are they doing to grab your attention only. Are they trying to win? Yes, win.
I say it's a competition. Like Hunger Games. May the odds be in their favor. Oh, it sounds bad. I know. Key things to know though. Dating does not equal sex. Time and attention is very valuable. Hearing a voice and visually seeing a person will always beat a text message. Character is everything. Words mean nothing without action. Don't deviate from your standards and settle. Women can do what men do....I mean, did you not watch Amy Schumer in Trainwreck....I'm just saying.
Disclaimer...I'm not a dating expert, ha! I am aware of the game though, lol.
This post was prompted by my doctor telling me that dating is not a competition....um, then what is it?
To be continued...
Brain Purging
I think women do it differently than men do, simply because we are more emotional....well, most are more emotional. I like to think at times I'm mixed with robot (joking). I mean, I did take a Facebook test that told me I was 50/50 man/woman...so who knows. There are double standards when it comes to dating and things that are socially acceptable for a man to do versus a woman.
For example, it is totally okay for a man to see multiple people at once during his dating phase to make the correct selection. Hey, gotta keep the options open. Now, if a woman chooses to do this it is frowned upon. A woman is supposed to sit there and just wait until she is no longer the option?....I think not. How else will you know that someone is worth your time or effort, if they are the one?
Dating, I believe, has phases. There is the meeting of people. Today, people will meet in non-conventional ways. A lot of on-line dating happens. So, there is the initial conversation. There may or may not be an initial meeting. Now this meeting can go one of three ways....good, bad, bleh. If it goes bad, it's easy, never have to see each other again. If it goes good or bleh, there may be more meetings....more getting to know each other. The key thing to note is that a first meeting or first date does not imply exclusivity....does not imply relationship....it only means what you two have said it means. See,men do this well....which makes it easy for them to date and not go through the emotional roller-coaster most women put themselves through. Women, a lot of the time have put themselves in this imaginary relationship. Stop. Don't do it. If you did not say it, outline it, and agree....you're dating, not exclusive.
Now the bleh meetings are probably those where you have set standards and there's questions about compromise. You don't know if this person is really worth your time, but they have any deal-breakers per se. You try them out. This can lead to a continuation phase or you just dismiss them.
The ones that you consider good from the beginning are actually the most difficult. You both have to decide what you want, where things are going, what pace....so many decisions. Most importantly...exclusivity has to be defined between you both...not implied because no matter how good they are, at the end of the day.....you are still dating.
See, women...don't be blinded by how fine they are, their job, the basic things men should do anyway. Pay attention to their character and what are they doing to grab your attention only. Are they trying to win? Yes, win.
I say it's a competition. Like Hunger Games. May the odds be in their favor. Oh, it sounds bad. I know. Key things to know though. Dating does not equal sex. Time and attention is very valuable. Hearing a voice and visually seeing a person will always beat a text message. Character is everything. Words mean nothing without action. Don't deviate from your standards and settle. Women can do what men do....I mean, did you not watch Amy Schumer in Trainwreck....I'm just saying.
Disclaimer...I'm not a dating expert, ha! I am aware of the game though, lol.
This post was prompted by my doctor telling me that dating is not a competition....um, then what is it?
To be continued...
Brain Purging
Comments
Post a Comment