Out with the old! 2017, I welcome you!

2016. 

Thank you for teaching me all the lessons I needed to learn. I called this my "Jesus" year, because I turned 33 and the changes I experienced this year were definitely life changing. I didn't die or anything, just a lot of big internal stuff. 

I learned to go to the deepest parts of myself with someone. Scary, yet a necessary step in my growth. I surely wasn't there prior to this year. 

I learned the present is all I have. Enjoy it. Accept it for what it is. Make changes as necessary if you don't like where you are. All I have is right now. I cannot change anything from 5 seconds ago, and anticipation of what may come at times is unnecessary strain. I can set up for the come up, come back....yeah that. There is so much going on in the now. Focus on the now and set up for the best. 

I learned that everyone does not have the same heart as I do. It taught me to be smart in who I let in. 

I learned to just own it. Own every action. Own who I am. Own what I like and don't like. Own. That. Shit. I am great in every meaning of the word. That does not mean I am perfect. It's just one of the thing I had to learn.

I learned the definition of friendship. It's a term thrown around frequently with a loose definition to some. 

I learned that God always is working. Always. I got a whole different understanding of how God and the universe works to provide things. Divine timing showed itself to a different degree this year. 

I learned that doing things that scared me have often resulted in the best actions of my life. Jumping is the hardest thing to do.....but once you do that! 

I felt the whole "season, reason, lifetime" effect of people this year. I didn't remain in a negative space about any relationship that did not make it. It was for a reason. I know all the reasons and am maximizing on it. 

I learned about trees, branches, and leaves.....represents the people. I'll probably go into that another time. Just know the concept is so real and applicable. 

I learned how to be patient! My God! Look here, I have a problem with waiting. I learned about patience in the most unorthodox way....not in a traffic jam like I imagined it would be. God saw that I needed to work on that more than anything and made it happen. 

I learned to sit in solitude, tune into myself, the universe, God. 

I learned that everyone isn't for me, but that I also get support, love, uplifting from the most unexpected sources. 

I have said this before, I have not lost anything that I was supposed to keep. What is mine is mine. 2016 enforced that. I just let it go.

I learned that it is okay to feel feelings....since I'm all human and stuff. I just am not supposed to act out of emotional spaces. I learned to not make decisions out of emotional spaces. 

I learned how gratitude impacts my life. I spent way more time being thankful instead of complaining. A mindset that is in a positive space is what I gained. When you are positive, negativity doesn't get comfortable around you. That goes for people, places, things, thoughts, behaviors. 

2016 gave me a lot. Everyday I learn though. Everyday, I have a goal of being the best version of me and living to the max. No, everything this year didn't go as expected, but it could have been worse. 
Like Whoopi said in The Color Purple....."I'm here!" 
I have my mind, my spirit, my kids, my one, my dad, family that loves me. I even have the naysayers that provide motivation inadvertently. 


I am Jackie
Brain Purging